


Alex's Dark Poems

by BurnYourBridges



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bad Poetry, Blood, Cutting, Death, Depression, Heartbreak, Misery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poems, Poetry, References to Depression, Sadness, Self-Harm, Suicide, dark themes, dispair, i can't write, lots of death, poem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 04:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20269939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurnYourBridges/pseuds/BurnYourBridges
Summary: This is a collection of some of the darkest poetry I have written. There are themes of depression, self-harm, suicide, and abusive relationships. If you don't like any of these, I strongly advise turning back now.Updates whenever I feel like it.





	1. Why Do You Fear The Stars?

I fear the stars because they will live to see this planet burn

I fear the stars because they look down at you and see your sins

I fear the stars because they look at this world and see it drenched in blood

I fear the stars because they burn and burn and burn into eternity

I fear the stars because they have no need for us

I fear the stars because they watch me from a billion miles away

I fear the stars because they have seen empires rise and fall

I fear the stars because they saw us before we could even dream of them

I fear the stars because they died so long ago yet we still see their echo

I fear the stars because they seem to be eternal


	2. On Cutting, And The Fear In My Father's Eyes When He Saw The Blood Running Down My Arm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw that this thing already got a subscriber!!! Thank you, whoever you are!!!

  1. I want to watch the scars on my wrists open up and drip drip drip onto the floor
  2. I want to see metal meet flesh in the most gruesome way
  3. I want to feel my veins spill their contents out onto the bathroom sink
  4. I want to take a razor and watch it make my arms bleed red
  5. But I can’t
  6. I won’t
  7. Because of the terrified look on my dad’s face as he walked in to see my blood smeared all over my wrists
  8. Because of the not quite anger in his eyes as he bandages me up
  9. Because of the disappointment in mom’s voice when I have to tell her
  10. Because of the way they’ll treat this like it’s a dirty secret
  11. Because they’ll never let my brother find out about this
  12. Because they don’t know that when I pick up the knife I do it with intent to end it all
  13. Because they don’t understand that this is the best option
  14. Because they think this is their fault 
  15. Because I can’t tell them otherwise
  16. Because I hate to hurt them
  17. Because I shouldn’t want to hurt me 
  18. Because these scars are forever
  19. And this feeling is not


	3. From The Perspective Of A Shattered Mind

She still haunts me  
She still screams for me  
She still breaks my heart  
I made a mistake   
I don’t know what to do  
I broke her  
She broke me  
We were never meant to be  
What am I doing here  
Why is she gone  
Why couldn’t I do something  
Why did I just run away  
Run away   
Run away   
Run away  
I need to run away  
From life   
From my problems  
From her ghost  
From the scars on my wrists  
From the thoughts in my head  
Run away   
Run away  
Run away  
From me  
From you  
From the writing on the wall I could never seem to read  
From all the warning signs I did not heed  
Run away   
Run away  
Run away  
Because the guilt is too much  
Because the fear is too much  
Because it’s all too much


	4. Another Shattered Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I forgot to update last week, school just started and everything's been hectic as fuck. Here's an extra update to make up for it.

  1. Why even bother
  2. I don’t see the purpose
  3. We live just to die
  4. This song started just to end
  5. We breathe in just to breathe out
  6. We wake up just to go back to sleep
  7. There is nothing
  8. There is nothing
  9. There is nothing
  10. I am shattered glass
  11. Broken and sharp and ruined
  12. I am shattered glass
  13. Deadly and bloodstained and wrecked
  14. I am shattered glass
  15. Unlucky and angry and destroyed
  16. Why am I here
  17. Why am I here
  18. Why am I here
  19. I don’t want to be here anymore
  20. I want to run run run
  21. Run from this life
  22. Run from these thoughts
  23. Run from my scar covered wrists
  24. I need to run run run
  25. Run from the temptation of knives and broken glass
  26. Run from the fire and the fury 
  27. Run from these feelings
  28. I need to get out
  29. I need to leave
  30. I have to go


	5. Don't Make People Into Gods

  1. She was my goddess
  2. My queen
  3. My sun
  4. My stars
  5. Don’t do that to people
  6. Don’t make people into gods
  7. Look at the myths
  8. When man is made to think he is god
  9. It always ends with death
  10. Icarus
  11. Who fell from the stars
  12. Phaethon
  13. Who tried to drive the sun
  14. Cassiopeia
  15. Who’s daughter was to be killed
  16. Look at the love of my life
  17. Who took a knife to her wrists
  18. Because she was a woman
  19. Who was told to be a goddess
  20. Don’t make people into gods 
  21. It will always end in death


	6. Your Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a poem about going to the hospital. It's probably the darkest poem I've ever writen. It features heavy themes of suicide and self harm. Still, I think it's pretty good, so enjoy if you dare.

Try to seem happy  
Try to ignore the screams of others  
Try to laugh along to the jokes your neighbors make  
Resist the urge to curl up on the feeble excuse for a bed and cry  
Resist the urge to break the glass on the door and let blood drip drip drip  
Resist the urge to join the chorus of screams

Fake a smile  
Tell mom and dad you’re alright here  
Tell them that you can do this  
Resist the urge to sob when they leave  
Resist the urge to watch scars open and bleed onto the floor  
Resist the urge to run run run until you’re far away from here  
Fight against the need to throw things 

Know that it’s all your fault that you’re here  
You could have kept it to yourself  
Then you would already be bleeding out in the tub  
Just like you had planned  
You could have been in a place where you never had to suffer again  
If only you hadn’t told them  
If only you had convinced dad to not take you to the hospital  
If only you had waited for it to pass like you always did  
If only if only if only  
A thousand ways you could have gotten out of this  
And you chose none of them  
It’s your fault you’re here  
It’s your fault that mom and dad are so worried  
It’s your fault that you aren’t dead by now  
It’s all  
Your  
Fault


	7. not on this earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This poem features heavy themes of suicide and death. Just a warning.

I will not live, I will not be, I will not breathe  
At least, nowhere on this earth  
I will not love, I will not fight, I will not think  
At least, nowhere on this earth  
I will not create, I will not sing, I will not laugh  
At least, nowhere on this earth

I will run through fields of flowers, screaming songs to the not-sun  
Not on this earth though  
I will not feel pain, I will not feel numb, I will not feel dead  
I will feel something, something sweet and full of moonlight and shining stars  
Not on this earth though  
I will care again, I will stand tall again, I will live again  
Not on this earth though

I’m sorry  
I never wanted to be this selfish  
I never wanted to leave you   
But I see a world out there that exists to stomp and smother and crush me  
And I feel a world beyond this in which I can truly exist in peace  
I will sing and dance and scream and just be  
I will not need to fight  
I will not need to suffer  
I will not need to cause you any more pain  
I know you’re strong enough to get over my death  
You need to keep going on  
If you ever loved me, you won’t blame this on yourselves  
Know that we’ll meet again  
Just not on this earth


	8. I Am...

I am shattered glass and broken bones STOP  
I am nothing but ashes and dust STOP  
I am the empty wind and the lonely sea STOP

I am destroyed demolished damaged STOP  
I am incomplete inhuman insane STOP  
I am ruined rusted wrecked STOP 

I am fire and fury STOP  
I am murder and misery STOP  
I am ice and insanity STOP

I am me STOP  
I am me STOP  
I am me STOP


	9. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for this chapter: abusive relationships, emotional abuse, physical abuse.

She destroyed me like I never could  
She ripped me up and stitched me back together  
She screamed and punched and kicked  
She loves me  
She loves me not

She left wounds on my mind that never healed  
She left scars on my body that never seemed to fade  
She pushed and pulled and tore  
She loves me   
She loves me not

She knew exactly how to break me down  
She knew what to say to make me shatter  
She fought and fought and fought  
She loves me  
She loves me not

She burned me to the ground just to bring me back  
She told me no one would ever love me like she did  
She burned and bit and buried me  
She loves me  
She loves me not


End file.
